It’s time for me to stop this insane existence of life ‘in a funk’ to getting myself ready to embrace positive things! First, let’s take inventory: job? no; money? no; health? relatively good; familia fine? thankfully, yes. Notice what’s good? the really important things — job and money are important of course, but cannot be the main reason that I get out of my funk — I have decided that I must have a better reason than that … I’ve lived life working toward one goal, making a good career for myself, and have not worked on any other area of my life. So LOGICO…OBVIO…when the house came tumbling down in front of my face…it was a house of cards — with nothing of value inside! Spiritually and familia-wize, I had not completed one project, not attended one meeting in good faith, not cared to invest time in these projects, so WHY would these things be in order when everything else went freaking crazy?
One thing that I notice gives me a renewed sense of hope and positive attitude is when my ‘children’ and ‘godchildren’ can look at me and still see that I’m the best, the coolest, la mas chingona, the one who can get things done, the one they turn to, the one they want to tell about their lives! If that doesn’t help you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and to get yo’ s*%# together, what will?
For some of these kids, it’s not being able to to to the University because of budget cuts; others not able to find a job after many training programs; others not being able to DO anything with that hard-earned University degree, others simply unable to find a job … of course, I think that my children are the best that life has to offer but what really makes me proud: they don’t stop trying to find ways to make it happen for themselves even with all of the road blocks in their way! Now if they can keep trying, now why can’t I?
Here’s what I will focus on as I start the new week and the new month:
1. Embrace failure…embrace setbacks: they hurt but are the door that lead to my future.
2. I may have lost my job, but I have not lost my talent. And with ny talent, I can get back on your feet.
3. Try not to involve the world in my desmadre when I have nothing positive to offer.
Thank God, school is back in session because it forces me to be super-organized with my studies and everything else usually falls back into place after that. The gotta-be-different attitude is coming back too: I don’t want to do what I’ve done in the past (if I can help it) — I am down to nothing, so I want to start from nothing and see where it takes me. The stress is there for sure — but the way I did things before did nothing to sustain me so WHY NOT really start over? Keep you posted on the journey…