Lifted from my Facebook page …this is what I wrote yesterday morning:
La Llorona had taken over my body and, at some point during the night, La Chingona showed up n kicked her a*#! Therefore, I am BACK, smile on my face, blasting Ramon Ayala in the car and ready to partirle la madre al State Exam! LOL Life is good, God is good!
I used to get embarrassed for putting all of my emotions out there for the world to see … I would try so hard to keep everything in and, usually, whatever was churning up inside me would come out some kind of way … and it usually was in the form of a meltdown, or screaming at someone, or being so rude or judgemental that I couldn’t even stand to be around myself …
What I noticed this time around, that while I was very disappointed, it took me about 24 hours to get ‘right’ and to be positive and hopeful for my future. I remember getting into the car yesterday morning and could not believe how positive I felt, that I was already smiling as I started my wild commute.
I’ve also learned that maybe La Llorona needs to make her appearance in our lives so that we can wallow, cry, scream, cuss, and be sad…and that La Chingona has to come and let us know that it’s ok to let go sometimes and that you have got to pick yourself up off of the floor and get back to business. Listening to music always helps me center myself and my day today had to do with pura musica…
So I’m in the car today driving throughout the Bay blasting music with a smile on my face … when I get to my first stop in Berkeley, some guy comes up to me and tells me that I’m giving off a really positive energy, that it went with the music I had on, and he had to come up to say hi to me — ok, so maybe it was a line but it was fun.
Then I’m in the car on 880 going toward San Jose, again blasting music, and this car full of young guys in a car two lanes away catch up to the car, start imitating how I was groovin’ in the car LOL blowing me kisses and saying all kinds of stuff…I wasn’t about to tell them that I was old enough to be their mother LOL
Once again, I’m back in the car on 680 toward Pleasanton and stop to put in gasoline … don’t you know a guy says hi and puts in my gasoline for me — of course, he could have been a ‘maton/killer’ or something but he told me that he wanted to listen to the music that was, again, blasting from the car … Cumbias Sonideras … whatever works.
Maybe La Chingona is telling me to not be afraid to feel my emotions, to be a ‘llorona’ occasionally, leave my bad/rude attitude at any door and keep my badass attitude so that I have some fun with life and so that I don’t close myself off to positive people and/or situations. No job or task is worth completely being rude to someone and I’m actually having fun being nice for once LOL
So now that I’m getting ready to get into my car again … what am I listening to? Led Zeppelin…I’d say that this reflects my badass attitude … let’s hope La Chingona approves!