You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option. Ending a week where I’ve had to break out every ‘huevo’ in my personal life to make things happen … where I’ve had to, on some days, ‘fake it until I make it’. I’ve always been such a positive person that I tend to see life under rose-colored glasses and nothing or no one can bring me down. Good way to make things happen but it’s also important to visit with reality once in a while. Sometimes the only way I can learn something is to have that huge, sometimes painful, reality slap in my face! It’s weird, once I sit myself down, cry my eyes out, and call myself an idiot/pendeja for a few minutes — it’s like my inner chingona FINALLY makes her appearance — because then I start remembering what I’m all about, that I am not the victima, that while I may have not made the smartest decisions in my life, that I am not made to be perfect, I am made to be a normal person who has good days and bad ones. That ‘si me caigo por pendeja, me levanto por chingona’.
All I can say tonight is…Thank God, Inner Chingona FINALLY showed up…little by little, my power is coming back. There will still be some ‘tragos amargos’ to drink and I may still scream/shout ‘y ahora QUE?’ in my mind… but I feel it … things are feeling more positive than negative … feeling more hopeful than I have in months! Something to be said for things ‘desbaratando’ falling apart … we can always learn from it, don’t you think? Here’s to a better week!
