Working My Way Back: When Work Was No Longer Enough

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I guess that everyone has their problems, their issues, their drama…I also know that, for a lot of years, I never really thought about how I would handle something major in my life.  I was always able to kind of glide myself through anything and move on.   A lot of these situations involved just that – situations that, although unpleasant, were manageable.    Things like my wanting to get a certain project right, where I needed to stand up for myself with certain colleagues, coming back from a bad event or bad meeting.    Never easy…but if you notice, these situations were mainly work-related, rarely truly personal.   I always kept my private life exactly that – private.   Very few people knew my business, very few people knew what my life was like out of an event.  That being said, I also see now that I didn’t really live, or contribute much to anything on a personal scale … I was very much out of practice.

Once I decided that living as a workaholic was not much of life — for many many years, I never saw the inside of any of the cool places where I lived in daylight or during weekends.  I’m still in some boxes from when I lived in Denver and how long ago was THAT?  I never appreciated ‘normal’ and ‘routine’ and the value of downtime during those days.

So a couple of years ago — I decided that I wanted to try ‘normal’, ‘routine’, ‘downtime’, ‘family time’, ‘going-out’ time.  I tried ‘normal’, ‘routine’ — simple things like getting home at a decent hour every day so that I could maybe do my walk before it got too late or hit the library – things I totally thought were square but that I loved to do.

I also tried ‘downtime’ – delegating a lot more job wize so that I would work my weekend events in shifts versus the entire day.  I used to think that event would not run right if I wasn’t there the entire time.   With that time, I could then make time for study groups and family stuff (as I was still at SFSU at the time)

I started coordinating a few of the family get-togethers and found that, every time we got together, that we could always have fun.  Not everyone would show up all of the time, but it was always fun and I started to feel my priorities change within my own fam as well:  things stopped being an obligation and more of a celebration for me.

I have always been the one to keep in touch with friends…if I think of someone who I haven’t seen in a long time, I’ll set out to see where they are and what they are up to…thus, I’m pretty good at planning reunions.   However, I could tell that, once I got into Event Season at work, that all of that went out of the window, I was all-consumed with work.   I tried to be a little more spontaneous and would make the call to my friends to get together — I usually went to where they were as it seemed easier.

I also went out on dates which I hadn’t done in a very long time…mostly, I just tried to have fun and keep it as simple as possible — that I was just going out with a man, I wasn’t marrying him.  My life did not leave room for any type of traditional relationship in the past and, although I did not envision a husband and children, I did want to see if I could find someone to spend time with and to see if I could learn to ‘convivir’ co-exist with another human being …

Thinking back…Good job in making having a life a priority.  Also, scary…going thru so many different changes at once.   I jumped in head-first (as I tend to do) to all of this newness in my life and all seemed to be going in the right direction…until it didn’t.   Did I take on too much at once?  Was I that much out of practice that I couldn’t see the danger signs ahead?  Did I want off of the professional treadmill so bad for a minute that I was wasn’t thinking clearly? Que paso?

There’s definitely a story waiting to be told … stay tuned…

2 thoughts on “Working My Way Back: When Work Was No Longer Enough

  1. WOW! I loved it! Sometimes we have to voice our thoughts although we may think we are the only ones going through something, sharing becomes a realization that others feel the same way. It’s not that you are telling todo de ti…
    We as MUJERES are emotional creaturas…we have a CORAZON…FEELINGS…THOUGHTS that at times take over our bodies and at times it can be overwhelming. I know that it has for me. I too have questioned many of my actions, EL PASADO…But I have to believe and Trust in the Lord que por algo…don’t have all the answers as yet…I have to have PASENCIA…

    I love who you are Carmen…and all that you believe in and what you stand for! You…Amiga…are an exceptional MUJER! So ORGULLOSA de ti…

    Besos…❤

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