As I lay down to sleep last night, all I could remember was the looks on my sisters’ faces: a look of worry and concern, not for me, per se. I was beyond tired and burned out and we had all had a very stressful day … the girls were concerned that I was so angry at my mother and were concerned for both my sanity and her safety.
You better know that this was a wake-up call for me. I’m sure others who care for their parents have reached the point of walking into the wall head-first, where you are doing all that you can do and then you have to do more! Although I never want to think that I’m capable of anything sinister toward my parents, I had to recognize a very hard fact: sometimes, you can only do what you can do…no matter how bad one wants to be superwoman and do anything and everything for Mom and Dad.
It’s very hard to realize that, on some rare occasions, that someone else will have to take over for you. Tears and a drive were the only way for me to get my frustration out about having to accept help from time to time.
As I drove by the hospital where I was born, it made me think back to when I was born, born prematurely and weighing 2 pounds and 5 ounces…my mother had no choice but to leave me in the hospital and accept help during my first days of life. Maybe she even got frustrated with me too for not being able to take me home for 3 whole months when normal parents got to walk out with their new babies.
After a few hours of sleep, I had to wake up with Mama and get her ready for an early treatment — both she and I were much calmer and she said the four words which serve to keep me and my badass attitude in check and motivates me to work it for her: “Thank you, love you”. And with those four words, she becomes what I most need and want: Mama.
No matter how crazy days, weeks, months, and years get as you care for your parents: know that asking for and accepting help works wonders and will always bring positive vibes to your relationship.