Before September, much of my life revolved around the care of my mother, the familia, and my work.   I was able to watch our kids working it and growing more independent:  Our Diana was back to work full time and being the great mama to Ruben, Angel, Aliyah and King.   STE 2, our Stephen, received his BA Degree from San Francisco State University, got his first real job and is at SFSU to finish up his Master’s Degree.  Our Yazi also graduated from Pre-school into Kinder!  Our smart bebita loves school.  Saw our Nicolasa end up the year with THREE jobs lucky girl as she figures out where she will focus her career.  Mikey 3 got a new job as bass player for Little Joe y La Familia, which made us all proud!   Angelo’s rough year ended up the most positive way possible:  with the birth of our lil Yesenia in October.  Our CC brought our lil Olivia into the world in November and, after a rough delivery, both of our girls are doing well.   Went to my papito David’s first School Band Concert and our Antonia asked me to her Nina for Confirmation in Spring 2015, you know we will wear green LOL.

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Mama’s health took a turn for the worse at the end of September.  I never imagined that it would be time to say goodbye to her but it turns out, Mama was ready for the next phase of her life.   It took me the longest to accept this new reality; I was so against everything that meant that my mother had to leave me.  However, once I  saw how much at peace she was with ‘going home’, I finally saw the importance of letting our loved ones be happy and that if letting go of Mama had to happen, well then it had to happen.

To have been able to have been with Mama for those final weeks was the best gift that I could have received.  Mama knew how I felt and she would tell me that she was praying most for me so that I could accept her new reality.   Mama was also able to comfort me a few times when I was so tired that all I could do was cry to her.   We were all able to, in time, see that Mama and God had made the best decision that Mama would not suffer anymore, that she would be free of all of the physical limitations and all of that medication, that Mama would be at her eternal home.    The saddest time for me was when they had to pick up Mama and take her out of our house for the last time.    However, I was very happy that we were able to give Mama the most fitting, poignant and awesome send-off ever!  I’ll be writing thank you cards well into the next month, eso si.

While our lives are completely different now, the only way that we have been able to survive is to keep up the traditions that she started for us:  Staying together always, watching out for Dad, praying together and saying “I love you”.       I feel her absence the most when I’m on the road.  I used to call her almost daily from my many commutes over the years so it’s all been about crying as I learn to talk to her now whenever I feel her spirit around me.

It was one trancazo after another for me in 2014 at Entravision Radio.  People always told me that if I survived the first 6 months of radio sales, that I would be ok.  Happy to say that I have just completed my second year in radio sales and I feel accomplished because I have learned to better manage the highs, lows and trancazos of my industry.  I enjoy my work and I am looking forward to a fun 2015 in radiolandia.

Now that I have more time, I intend to focus my energy in a positive way toward my health, family, friends, and my writing.  I send tons of emails to myself with writing ideas, it will be fun to start developing these ideas into stories/articles for my blog.   It’s all about appreciating what I have around me instead of always looking for the next best thing in 2015.  Mama always said that, as long as the important things were in a good place – family, health, faith, – that the rest of the positive energy would follow.    Here’s hoping that Mama moves some of her ‘influencias’ up there to keep me on track.

Take time to connect with those people important to you in your lives, take pictures when you are together, and, when confronted with decisions large and small,  as Mama always told us, “Let Go and Let God”.  Have a blessed New Year!   Love this foto of us taken a few days ago at Ranch Christmas.



2 thoughts on “2015

  1. hola carmen, what a great start to ur new year; honoring ur moms and being grateful for all the goodness that life continues to provide. life continues…. the sobrinos continue to learn and grow and have new experiences that we get to share in—how awesome is that?

    but what ur doen in honorning ur mom with the pix and the stories is what we do–we never forget; we honor of traditions; and we remain open and available to the younger ones, if it means that the younger one is 34 (the age of my oldest niece). in our case, me and my siblings are now the elders; how kewl is that? i love being an elder; i love “channeling” my mom or dad at any given time. it’s amazing how much we “retain,” while growing up, that we don’t realize.

    so keep looking at the pix; keep those traditions established by ur parents, while adding new ones and shedding those that don’t apply today; keep that heart open to love and live “truly” because u want a true life and that’s the what makes sense to u. so often we forget that we can be of “service” to loved ones just by “modeling” a decent life; as defined by the values taught to u by ur parents as well as newly incorporated one “developed” as u’ve traversed through ur onw life’s journey—i diggit!!

    cuidate mana y k sigas en camino k tu valoras—bros4life!! jorge.

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