Inner Chingona and Hair, or Lack Thereof

dark hair on floorThe afternoon had turned muggy.  Muggy, stuffy, warm, stale.  I could feel the sweat beading on my face and neck.  An uncomfortable afternoon to say the least, a horrible day with ‘una tras otra’ things coming at me from all sides.   I started back into my office to finish up some work before going to my last appointment.

So I get into the office and the vibe had not changed.  All I wanted is for this day to END, it had been full of drama and negativity and, to be honest, the office was the last place I wanted to be.  I wanted to get in my Jeep and drive and drive until my head cleared and I felt more like myself, safe and confident again.

I was so down that I almost bailed on my final appointment.  But Julie was there waiting for me, scissors in hand.  After I sit down, she asks me, “how much do you want me to cut off?”  I told Julie that I wanted her to keep my hair long and to cut only about an inch.  Julie had other ideas and tells me, “I’m cutting hair until there are no more dead ends” and, zaaaz! just like that, Julie grabs all of my hair and whacked off waaay more than an inch!

After the initial shock of Julie grabbing all of my hair and going at it with her scissors, I began to laugh … it felt like she was attacking my hair just like I wanted to attack the day.  Snip by snip, or mejor dicho, chop by chop, the negativity began to leave my body, I relaxed and then I started to feel this intense powerful feeling .  Thank God I was sitting down because it was pretty overwhelming.   Inner Chingona began to stand at attention, as if supervising all of this rush of positive energy into my mind, body, and soul.

As Julie blow-dried my hair, I closed my eyes and began to think about all that had happened throughout the day, instead of feeling hopeless, I began to feel hopeful.  I started to think about all that I had in my favor, all of my work was not a waste of time, I had much to contribute and I could work at making all of my crazy situations bearable if nothing else.   As Julie began to flat-iron and style my hair, I knew that I was back:  no more worry, frustration, tears and wringing of hands.  I was ready to stand up for myself and to work it for ME.

Looking down at all of my hair on the floor…it was like each piece belonged to negative people and situations in my life, those who left me feeling betrayed, demeaned, embarrassed, angry, powerless, sad, defeated, frustrated, beaten-down.  As Julie swept up the hair and tossed it into the trash, two words came to mind.  Karma and Freedom.  Karma will eventually work things out so a tremendous weight had been lifted from me: I felt free and lighter with less hair, and, better yet, the clouds had lifted, the mugginess was gone and a cool breeze was blowing as I stepped outside into the night.

One thought on “Inner Chingona and Hair, or Lack Thereof

  1. yes it was a muggy day yesterday, how a hair cut can make a difference for our “oura” I love reading your inner chingona stories, keep me posted ok girl. your famila sister Delia

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