Notes to Mama


note

I went to visit Mama the other day … half of the time I spent crying to her, telling her that I didn’t care about getting by, moving on without her, putting on that brave face, I wanted my mother BACK.   I was having such a hard time getting thru my many projects, I kept getting ‘stuck’.  So I told her what was up with me, as I did most of the days of my life.  I stayed there talking to her and crying for a few minutes with no one around…which was cool but had someone come around, my tears would have still flowed freely down my face.

Before I left, I felt like I had to write her a little note.  I told her how much I missed her and loved her and I thanked her for letting me cry to her.   Sure enough, I got on with my day and it was like ‘boom!’,  the energy around me had changed and I was working it again como si nada.  Turns out Mama was working it for me after all.

We are all still grieving and, some days, it’s so hard to believe that Mama is no longer with us.      I then think about how much she wanted to see Jesus and be in Heaven.   I then calm down and think that things are as they should be…maybe not as I want them 100%…but I feel her beside me thank God …like the day we were talking in the living room and the lights came on by themselves! LOL Love her, miss her.

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