Sometimes there is nothing else to do but work it for yourself. Inner Chingona helps a lot but, sometimes, you need something else to take you across the finish line.
During the past 24 hours, I had a couple of situations where I had to, straight up, stand up for myself and have the ‘come to Jesus’ conversations that were, no doubt, going to be difficult. However, there was no other way to go but to ‘go there‘.
Easy to do? Not. We talk a good game a lot of the time, “no one is going to walk all over me”, “no way am I gonna let this or that happen”, “does this person know who they are dealing with?” It is very easy to get caught up in projects and taking care of others that it’s easy to forget to take care of your business, how you deal with people, how people deal with you. Wait, let me rephrase this: we don’t forget to take care of ourselves most of the time…we choose not to take care of ourselves. Many times, this translates into awkward and unpleasant situations where sonsatontapendeja decisions are made and all kinds of pent-up emotions and things fly out of your mouth and you end up looking like one big chillona diva cry baby – which is, sadly, the drama that people tend to remember instead of the issue at hand.
I knew that I wanted to be confident when I handled these situations so I had to meet with all of my advisers — my Inner Chingona and both of my sisters LOL. Who better to listen to me go on and on, crying, getting all mad, letting me fall apart and then helping me put myself back together?
Fast forward to the next morning…
I practiced what I would say and felt emotionally ready to face the day…so I now wanted to wear my good lipstick, and wear clothes that made me feel powerful and confident on the outside – especially as I was still shaking a little inside. So I have my clothes all laid out and I start looking thru my underwear drawer. HijaDeLaFregada…chiiiin…! The day I need to get my big girl chones on and the only underwear clean are the funky, torn-up, thrashed ones. All of my good underwear are in the dirty laundry basket staring up at me, laughing at me for not handling laundry like I should have. Now what? I had to think fast so that I wouldn’t lose my confidence vibe before I left the house.
As I slept on Mama’s bed among all of her things, I thought to myself, “there has to be some of her underwear in here somewhere!” so I start going thru the drawers (no pun intended) and, lo and behold, I find a pair of faded purple ones that I helped put on Mama many times. I put them on and, I cannot say for sure that Mama’s chones had magical powers or anything, but there was most def a surge of energy when I put them on! I let out a “yes!’ and started to hear El Chicano’s classic “Viva La Raza” in my head LOL. That is the one song that I always hear when I am about to do something important, when I get inspired by the ‘movement/la causa‘ , when I’m envisioning a successful event, or simply when I need to get out the can of whoop-ass. I found my sense of ‘aventada-ness‘, my mevalemadre attitude was back and I left my sonsatontapendeja self at home and went out to handle my business!
I was proud to be able to tackle two of the most difficult conversations that I had ever had and I was able to approach these situations without nerves, cool, confident, looked these people and situations right in the face. In fact, I stunned myself when I heard my voice asking these really pointed, difficult questions that I was “sure” that I would never be able to pull off without crying or shaking. And you know what? It wasn’t as bad as I thought. So I lost sleep over the whole ordeal, but I’ll never tell them that LOL. When the time came for me to put on my ‘big girl chones‘ and I literally could not find them…Inner Chingona and Margaret Torres totally worked it to help me take care of business, chones and all!
You better know that when I got home later that day, I took out all of Mama’s underwear which I will save for those times when I’m feeling nervous or afraid to work it for myself! I challenge you to find your version of ‘big girl chones’ whatever works for you that empowers you to take care of yourself and handle your business!