Happy 2016! As I reflect upon this past year, I realize that it has all been about one thing: taking a step back to breathe.
Mama’s passing took it out of me in many ways and much of the year was spent dealing with the fact that she would not be here anymore and that I no longer had to caregive at the level I had done with my dad and siblings for the past few years. For many many weeks, I still woke up at every noise and every few minutes to “check” on Mama. I didn’t really know how to fill the hours when it was “my” day to take care of her.
Carmen was a woman who screamed and shouted for much of this time about how “I want my life back” and how all I did was live out of the boxes…so once I made the decision to STAY at the Ranch and take care of my dad and familia, I even shocked myself. Somewhere along the way, my priorities not only shifted, they completely changed.
My former life had no room for family, friends, or even me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my work and all of my activities and was shocked when this work could no longer sustain and motivate me. In my business, aside from knowing your stuff, you really have to have the drive to push yourself forward to work it, if you want to succeed. Anything less is not enough. I’m sure that it’s like this everywhere but broadcasting is different, the stakes always feel higher, it’s a very small world and the ups and downs in our industry are dramatic to say the least!
6 months into the year, I parted ways with my stations and, instead of feeling devastated, I felt a little bit of relief. I needed something and I needed to find out just what that was.
Now I realize that the past 6 months have been about taking care of me, something I haven’t really ever done. I’m finally listening to my mother and all of the times she used to tell me to take care of myself and to let others help me. This new attitude has made me much stronger emotionally and I make better decisions these days. Family is who is there for you when you cannot be there for yourself; the family foundation is what grounds you as you try to find your way.
There is no room in my life for negative drama; there is no room in my life for anyone who is out there trying to disrupt me by harassing my friends and family. I intend to keep moving forward from this madness that has nothing to do with me anymore and everything to do with how this person deals with, or doesn’t deal with life’s challenges. I can, and will, have my life on my terms, not on anyone else’s. It’s all about standing up for myself, my peace of mind and keeping the important stuff close to my heart and more private for now.
2016 will be about embracing the important things in life: hanging out with Daddy, being with my familia, enjoying all of the #TorresBabies, working out (we finally brought in the exercise bike LOL), getting back to church, being around positive people, situations, and projects in that order.
My wish for you in 2016 is that you find and embrace all that will make you laugh, make you happy, healthy, and successful.