QueQUE? WHAT did he just say?


When life happens to you, which way do you turn?  Do you embrace your Inner Chingona?  Or do you take a detour via Ms. Paz (Peace) and end up at your Inner CHILLONA?  Crying, frustrated, depressed.     I would love to say that we all follow our Inner Chingona all of the time and, sadly, this is not the case.

I love my BFFs.  It’s amazing how empowering it is to be with them, it’s like getting a reality check with love, there is nothing that they do not know, there is nothing that we hold back from each other.    You can only imagine what topics are covered when we are together…When I heard this story, I told her that I just HAD to write about it because, as I listened to the story, and stated my words almost verbatim, it became the title of today’s post,…here is the story, what would you have done?

For this story, I revive 2 of my former characters, Yolanda and Rafa…


Things were really going great with Rafa and Yolanda.   At first, their romance centered around Friday nights, where they would usually go out and do ‘couple’ things, away from their co-workers, friends, family.  Come Monday, all would revert back to professional lives:  Rafa as the boss, the Sales Manager of the stations, Yolanda as one of his top employees, cutting deals, bringing in money for the stations’ bottom lines.   Yolanda was relieved that things were going well since there was no way that she wanted anyone to think that the boss was 100% responsible for her success, this was a partnership and she was doing her share of the heavy-lifting.   The sides of the radio roads were littered with too many women who got involved with their boss and lost everything once the relationship went bad.

One Monday, things changed a little.   Rafa asks Yolanda, “I’ve got this family thing on Saturday, think you wanna go?”   “Sure”, she replies.  On the surface, Yolanda was cool but inside, she was a jumble of excitement and nerves.  Meeting family is major and Yolanda could barely concentrate on anything but ‘oh my God, he wants me to meet his familia, will they like me? will they hate me? could I meet him there in case things don’t go well and I’m trapped there? I really want this to go well!  I want them to like me, OMG…”

All week, Yolanda is taking all of her clothes out of the closet and trying them on.   The family thing didn’t sound too formal but Yolanda didn’t want to go all fachosa either.   Rafa keeps asking her if she’s nervous and, of course, she answers, “no, why would I be?” when she was mere steps from having an attack of ‘chorros‘ LOL   “Note:  Make sure you know where all of bathrooms are at all times on Saturday!”     Rafa didn’t seem nervous at all either, Yolanda thought, ‘this must be meant to be, it will all go great’.

Saturday morning comes and Yolanda is nervous but feeling confident on her choice of a skirt and sweater set that, ‘made me look cool, in, young, hot’…but not too hot because you know how Mexican familias are, they are not into showing too much, and the standard is set pretty high for women who are professional with careers, etc.   Yolanda is just finishing putting her makeup on when the doorbell rings…

Rafa’s first words to Yolanda when she opened the door were, “well, I was going to have you meet my mother but not if you’re dressed like that.”  QueQUEWhaaat?  Rafa had seen Yolanda dress this way a million times before and had no problem with it, she was in total shock and her excitement for the day had gone just as if someone let the air out of a balloon.   Now it was obvious that Rafa WAS nervous and, as it turns out, had some expectations for how the day would go…but did not tell Yolanda what these expectations were.

So what happened next?  Does Yolanda listen to her Inner Chingona, leave her outfit on, and risk that Rafa decides not to take her, or that if he takes her, not introduce her properly to his familia?  Does Ms. Paz pay a visit to the situation, and have Yolanda change her outfit to ‘keep the peace’ and leave the pathway open for Inner Chillona to bring tears, resentment, frustration to the mix?  I swear that I forgot to ask how the story really ended, how do I end this story?


images (2)









12 Ways To The “No Lonja Zone”

images (1)

My annual checkup. I had rescheduled a bunch of times and when I saw that the next appointment was reset for the umpteenth time, I figured that it would be best for me to keep the appointment.

Why had I rescheduled so much? I knew that I was completely off of my wagon health-wize. I had not been walking, I had not been eating right, I did not FEEL healthy. I was embarrassed mainly, especially since my last checkup was great. As I waited for my doctor, I ‘stress-wrote’ in my journal, trying to not let my nerves get the best of me.

Well my gut was completely right…everything was way off and the doctor’s words were “it’s not good”…chiiiingado! But the only person that I had to blame was me.   While this was not a fatal diagnosis, it was a definite wake-up call for me and, immediately, right after getting out of the appointment, I made my 12-Week Plan where I would have to get my ish together in three months or else be on medication por pendeja.  NOT.

12 weeks to get myself back in action.   First 12 days of the month are to cleanse my system, no sugar, no salt, no soda;  a 12-minute walk every day at 12noon;  add 12 healthy things to my life;  remove 12 unhealthy things from my life;  12 reps of crunches and squats, add 12 new kickass motivation songs to my mp3 player, and I will work toward walking 12 times around the park and places where I walk and the exercise bike is back in the house for me to work toward riding 12 miles.  Every 12th day, I will openly talk about my progress or lack thereof.

Bottom line:  I spent years/months caring for both Mama and Dad;  now I spend a lot of my time taking care of Daddy and the fam;  I’ve grown too accustomed to putting other before me.  My doctor has told me that I will end up regretting my decision to NOT take care of myself.   Mama’s words came screaming into my head, “Take care of yourself so that you don’t have to go thru what I did!”  Dad is so cute, he always brings me tacos when he’s out and about…now it’s down to one tortilla with no meat and with beans/rice…hey, gotta start somewhere.

Since that day, I have been literally dreaming of drinking a Coke with Ice, that fizz burning down my throat LOL  That is the ONE thing that I miss right now.   And la Coca cargada, none of this Diet Coke mess.


I’ve tried to do the HALT thing before I put anything in my mouth.  HALT is one of the ways to stop emotional eating:  you ask yourself are you H-urt;  A-ngry; L-onely; or T-ired.   If you answer yes to any of the HALT statements, you’ve got to do something else besides eat:  call someone, exercise, read, write, etc.

The one word that describes me this instant is OVERWHELMED.   The challenge will be to move to 12 ways of DETERMINED as I know that getting my health in order is one of the last hurdles to getting over these past years of sadness and struggle.

I’m a little embarrassed to talk about my weight and health struggle but I also know that if I can talk about all of my other crazyass issues via Inner Chingona and this blog…that this one HAS to be put out there as well.   How do I want to feel after my 12 weeks, 12 days, 12 minutes, 12 seconds?!?  I want to feel lighter, younger, healthier, and I want my ‘mevalemadre‘ fun attitude BACK.    My confidence is in there somewhere and I need Inner Chingona 100% so that I can make the moves needed to move forward.

In the meantime, the struggle is real…tacos, soda, ‘donas’ LOL