My annual checkup. I had rescheduled a bunch of times and when I saw that the next appointment was reset for the umpteenth time, I figured that it would be best for me to keep the appointment.
Why had I rescheduled so much? I knew that I was completely off of my wagon health-wize. I had not been walking, I had not been eating right, I did not FEEL healthy. I was embarrassed mainly, especially since my last checkup was great. As I waited for my doctor, I ‘stress-wrote’ in my journal, trying to not let my nerves get the best of me.
Well my gut was completely right…everything was way off and the doctor’s words were “it’s not good”…chiiiingado! But the only person that I had to blame was me. While this was not a fatal diagnosis, it was a definite wake-up call for me and, immediately, right after getting out of the appointment, I made my 12-Week Plan where I would have to get my ish together in three months or else be on medication por pendeja. NOT.
12 weeks to get myself back in action. First 12 days of the month are to cleanse my system, no sugar, no salt, no soda; a 12-minute walk every day at 12noon; add 12 healthy things to my life; remove 12 unhealthy things from my life; 12 reps of crunches and squats, add 12 new kickass motivation songs to my mp3 player, and I will work toward walking 12 times around the park and places where I walk and the exercise bike is back in the house for me to work toward riding 12 miles. Every 12th day, I will openly talk about my progress or lack thereof.
Bottom line: I spent years/months caring for both Mama and Dad; now I spend a lot of my time taking care of Daddy and the fam; I’ve grown too accustomed to putting other before me. My doctor has told me that I will end up regretting my decision to NOT take care of myself. Mama’s words came screaming into my head, “Take care of yourself so that you don’t have to go thru what I did!” Dad is so cute, he always brings me tacos when he’s out and about…now it’s down to one tortilla with no meat and with beans/rice…hey, gotta start somewhere.
Since that day, I have been literally dreaming of drinking a Coke with Ice, that fizz burning down my throat LOL That is the ONE thing that I miss right now. And la Coca cargada, none of this Diet Coke mess.
I’ve tried to do the HALT thing before I put anything in my mouth. HALT is one of the ways to stop emotional eating: you ask yourself are you H-urt; A-ngry; L-onely; or T-ired. If you answer yes to any of the HALT statements, you’ve got to do something else besides eat: call someone, exercise, read, write, etc.
The one word that describes me this instant is OVERWHELMED. The challenge will be to move to 12 ways of DETERMINED as I know that getting my health in order is one of the last hurdles to getting over these past years of sadness and struggle.
I’m a little embarrassed to talk about my weight and health struggle but I also know that if I can talk about all of my other crazyass issues via Inner Chingona and this blog…that this one HAS to be put out there as well. How do I want to feel after my 12 weeks, 12 days, 12 minutes, 12 seconds?!? I want to feel lighter, younger, healthier, and I want my ‘mevalemadre‘ fun attitude BACK. My confidence is in there somewhere and I need Inner Chingona 100% so that I can make the moves needed to move forward.
In the meantime, the struggle is real…tacos, soda, ‘donas’ LOL