April Writing Challenge, Day 3
Your first love…Your first kiss…
It’s not that I’ve ever been against love, I just had too many things that I wanted to do with my life that it never was one of my priorities. I always was planning some event or another…my entire life. I didn’t feel confident with myself then to even think about dating anyone. I can count on one hand the times that I have been in like or in love. I don’t fall in love that often, but when I do, I admit that I fall hard.
When I moved out to go the University, as my Comadre will attest, I was very much from the rancho, I knew nothing about anything. I was always able to talk to anyone and make friends easily but I didn’t know how to live with anyone other than my family, didn’t know how to get around anywhere, barely drove, didn’t know much about hanging out or dating anyone.
Enter Mr. Kam (not his real name), we met in class and started studying together and hanging out. I didn’t even realize that I was in love with him until, one night out with friends, we dropped him off at his house and I was sitting in the car all quiet. Our friend Joe (may he RIP) famous for his big mouth and talking s&^# yells out, ‘oooh check out Carmen, all in love’, I remember telling him, ‘shut up Joe!’ and then sitting in the car in stunned silence embarrassed… because he was right.
The first kiss came in front of my house a few weeks later as Mr. Kam said goodbye for the summer. It was a very fun time. And then after a while, it wasn’t…like most first loves, they are not usually the one, the endings are more painful than most…it was all tears and drama and I was convinced that I was going to die of dehydration from crying and I was going to die of a broken heart, I remember telling my friends, ‘I just feel like I’m dying!’ LOL
Looking back, it was only meant to last for those couple of years and the breakup was the kindest and sweetest one ever. It’s the way all relationships should end, with a great open and honest conversation, with relatively little drama, some tears, and good wishes all around. I am glad that we have remained lifelong friends.