Inner Chingona sez No One Does You Like You #52essays2017


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It is so easy to do things because “that’s the way it’s always been” or “everyone else does it this or that way”.  It is not easy to stand on your own two feet, to stand in your truth, to keep on keeping on, even when others think differently or try to tell you how wrong you are.

I’ve always had an opinion and I’ve always had my big mouth LOL.  I remember being told to shut up, quiet down, you don’t have to say everything you are thinking my entire life.  I would react out loud too, rolling my eyes, shaking my head, saying “whatever” or worse.  If I react silently, my thoughts go crazy complete with cuss words and all.  I have had many vent sessions at the wheel of my Jeep.  I had my own back, I was confident when I needed to be.Embracing my Inner Chingona, listening to my gut, has never let me down, WHEN I have listened.


And then I found the courage to write these thoughts down and share them with the world.   I was able to expand my thoughts more, I was able to put so many opinions, feelings, thoughts, dreams into words, my words.  I spent years trying to find authors who really sounded like me, I knew that they had to be out there.  I finally found two or three authors that, when I would read their work, I would say “yup!” out loud,  would laugh and cry because I completely got what they were saying.   However, it took Ms. Big and Bad here a little longer to learn how to expect and embrace “constructive” criticism and others’ opinions of her work.  You see, I thought that, by me just be being brave enough to share my truth, that everyone would automatically agree with me. Wrong.   This morning, the following popped up on my “memories” on Facebook.  Below is my 2015 response on Facebook to someone who did not embrace my use of Spanglish in my writing:

I was told that my writing and posts would be much more relevant if I did them in one language versus another and tone down the Spanglish. May I say that, while I am 100% able to converse, read, and write intelligently in either Spanish or English, that my authentic self is bilingual/bicultural and I have NEVER viewed this as a negative thing ever. Spanglish allows me to be at home wherever I am and, most def, has opened doors that might have remained closed to me por no saber español o ingles. It took me many years to find authors who think, therefore write as I do. I’m not even angry about it, soy quien soy and I love to write “slice of life” style and, surprise! many people speak exactly as I do. For me, in writing, keeping it real is always important. How boring my world would be without talking and writing about my aventuras, triunfos, regadas, sonsadas? Someone will read and relate, that much I know. #SiSePuede #YNoMeAhuito#InnerChingona

I still do believe what I said on FB.  However, instead of getting my feelings hurt or offended that someone does not agree with me, what I have learned about my writing is this:  People embrace the effort.  I get comments all of the time about how they relate (or not) to my work, folks may not always agree with me but I love it that they do respect the fact that I have the huevos to put it together and put it out there.  For now, that’s enough. I am very happy when folks take the time to read what I write as I know that, with so much media going on at once in our lives, that it is not easy for one to sit down and actually take the time to read.       Now it’s all about staying authentic, writing,  learning and working on my technique, writing, reading and learning from other writers, writing,  keeping in touch with the world, writing,  and having a journal, a pen, or a laptop nearby so that I can write about life as I see it, and maybe finish some of the over ninety drafts that I have started!


Find what you love to do, allow others to embrace your effort, and respect the fact that you have the huevos to put it all out there.  No one does you like you.



One thought on “Inner Chingona sez No One Does You Like You #52essays2017

  1. love the piece hermana; u make sooooo many legitimate points. in particular, the “bi-culturalism” of our being; full-standing members of both the Spanish and English speaking worlds; whether we speak either language fluently or are simply exposed to it by our surroundings here in the U.S.

    the key is that we do all this “cultural experiencing” here in the U.S. nothing special about it, but instead a simple fact that brings about specific outcomes. my parents were U.S.-born “tejanos” from the part of texas that was more northern mexico than nothin’ else (el valle–so. of san antonio), but their world was Spanish-speaking, no doubt. our worlds, that of my sibs and me, had it all–Spanish, Spanglish, English, and any other language spoken in the diversity of califas.

    there were differences between our generation and that of our elders, but it was a wonderful difference; a “challenging” difference; a difference that encouraged self-awareness and self-love and most importantly, at least to me, an awareness that encouraged a “live and let live worldview.” for my dad, the whole world was a friend and as long as u didn’t jack him, he wuz good with u. he had his own views on various aspects of the world, but when all wuz said and done, it was about the person’s humanity that counted the most. i believe he learned this from having what i call “bridge children” (those of us who bridged the Spanish and English speaking worlds) who had to “forge” their own identies in a world that wasn’t always welcoming. i think he got a kick out of seeing us make “our self-created world” work for us and insisting on our place at various tables.

    we, me and u, are products of a multi-lingual society and that experience produces specific outcomes; again, not better or worse than anyone else’s experience. u, more than anyone i know, has made a conscious effort to keep both ur Spanish and English worlds fully present in ur daily life–not an easy task at all given the blatant effort in our country (U.S.) to assimilate to the norms and mores of the dominant group (in this case, English-speaking). i have always loved ur “mexicana/chicana/latina-ness” and the language(s) used when expressing urself in ur blog—i can literally see u speaking the words in familiar “carmenesque” fashion (e.g., con pasion, sinceridad, y puro joy!).

    keep doen what u do hermana because it matters to many of us. y como dices tu, it takes huevos/ovarios y diciplina (sp?) to get ur voice out there and “create” ur place at the table no mattah what anyone sez!! te me cuidas y emailiamos de nuevo. bros4life, jorge.

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