There is clutter all over the place in my world. Dad is doing some major work in our bathroom and there’s stuff all over the place, the kitchen is still in Thanksgiving-clutter mode, one side of the living/dining room looks like Dad’s workshop has exploded, my “apartment” looks like an event mess – one box, or basket, or bag belongs to one event or another, and my Jeep also has my event stuff and junk all over the place. Es un desmadre.
This is not good.
I almost don’t know where to start clearing the clutter as it feels like it’s everywhere. So I am going to start with the one place I spend the most time: my Jeep.
Found some great information in the article, “What Does Your Clutter Say About You?” (TheDailyMail, 20Aug17):
Emotional issue: No boundaries.
What this means: Letting clutter pile up in your car means that no space is left for yourself, however personal — you’re letting things and people encroach on every area of your life. Clutter in the car is often the first sign of feeling overwhelmed, because this should be your own space, not a dumping ground. Ask yourself: are you keeping your calendar full so you can tell yourself you’re too busy to make changes in your life?
OMG. What? QueQUE? This is not for the faint of heart. Who KNEW that a cluttered car showed a lack of boundaries, that I have no space or peace because I’m not living my life for me, I’m living it to please others, to put projects and people in front of my personal space and health? Since August, it has been one project after another after another after another. It certainly shows in my Jeep – cajas y papeleo por todos lados, while I feel like tossing it all out, I know that I need to go through it to see what I need. Things like receipts: I just remembered that I’ve got my receipts all over the place in one bag or another, and I need these receipts for reimbursements, taxes, etc. You’re better than this Carmen.
I had also been trying to live healthier and it had worked for a long time. I’m so off of the wagon that I’ve actually had to go into “one day at a time” mode so that I would take better care of myself so that I do not completely erase all of the good that I did for myself. Una soda tras otra best describes me this month, yes, I still drink a lot of water but I’m back to Cokes with ice big time thus the clutter of cups with straws all over the Jeep. Setting boundaries will especially help me in the health area: making time for exercise, saying “no” to soda, back to enjoying water and the total empowerment of taking care of myself, it’s like I got complacent, no denying that anymore.
I find that, increasingly, I need more and more time to think and strategize and organize my many projects…and THEN, when I have the time, I don’t know what I should think about first so I end up not thinking at all, and not having my necessary personal-strategy sessions…so then I struggle with solving problems, with doing extra work and backtracking because I didn’t think things out. Making the necessary changes has not happened either.
It’s all about going back to the beginning, starting over, thankful that I haven’t completely messed up but recognizing that I am in danger of reversing all of the good I had achieved for myself.
Maybe occupying your time in this way protects you from taking some risks. If you feel compelled to say yes to everyone who asks a favor, ask yourself why. Learning to sit with the discomfort that may come with disappointing people is crucial to your happiness.
This really makes me mad this minute. I swore that I was going to have the “huevos” to take care of myself, to ditch the people-pleasing stuff, and to have the courage to put my needs up there along with everything else. A perfect example was taking an important meeting last week when I was fighting the flu. While I did well working at about 40% of my energy, can you imagine what I could have done had I been at 100%?
Taking stock will not be easy but it needs to be done, some projects and people will not make the cut and I will need to be ready to face it. Looks like I still have some work to do.
What to do about it:
1. Practice setting boundaries by saying ‘no’ in lower-risk relationships; a co-worker rather than a family member, or a stranger instead of your boss.
2. Working on boundary clutter leads to cleaner relationships, less stress, and deeper connections with the people in your life.
Sometimes you need to get hit on the head by reality. The clutter in my car brought an issue up to the surface that I had no real clue was going on…until it bit me on the @$$. This week, day by day, I will work on cleaning the clutter in my Jeep while I work on making boundaries. The time has come for me to serve order and let order serve me. I like the fast pace of my life, and working smarter is the only way that I can survive and thrive.
Looking back, I have been struggling with this pit in my stomach for weeks now. I’m quite relieved that THIS strategy thinking session came down the way it did. I can change my life … one “no” at a time, and by throwing out the trash!