#52SlicesOfChingonaLife #52EssaysNextWave 7/52
Yesterday I was a mess. I was in a state of overwhelm. It didn’t help that I woke up with remnants of a migraine, late, and rushing around. Part of my morning routine is to turn off all of the lights and I always look out of the kitchen window. It’s like my way of saying hello to the universe as I wake up. The first thing I saw was Mama’s tree, covered in pink blossoms, her ‘popcorn’ tree she used to call it. I took this as a sign that she was with me that second.
As I posted this picture on my social media, here were my thoughts: I’m “off” this morning. This pic of Mama’s tree will help put things into perspective today. How this señora willed herself to wake up and be grateful for a new day, no matter how she felt, astounds me and propels my stressed-running-late-negative-ass forward to make this an important day. Thanks for the signs Mama. #MargaretLivesInMe
Regular readers know that my mother was left partially paralyzed from a stroke thus, for the most part, she was confined to the house and dependent upon us to drive her wherever she wanted to go. Sad, because one of the joys of Mama’s life was to pick up her keys and take off driving in her car, her “me” time. I remember she was a morning person and would wake up in a good place – she needed that positivity to deal with her family of night owls, morning people we are not.
So later in the day, I was still not right and was stressed going back and forth trying to decide on taking a class or not, I then saw another sign from Margaret:
Whenever I’m struggling, I always see pennies in random places, this one was on the seat on BART. Sign from Mama that I’m doing the right thing. It may have taken me 3 weeks to decide but I showed up to yet another Interpreting Drills class and talked my way in. I got called on a lot in class (maybe she was testing me LOL). Happy to know that my sense of aventada-ness is alive and well – fell on my face as much as I nailed it. With my crazyass life, these classes keep me focused . This next month, especially, will test my stamina and my time-management skills. No pain, no gain, no guts, no glory. I will handle this :).
I’m learning to pay attention to the signs when I see them. Mama was reminding me that my goals are important, that they do matter, and that no one else but me can take care of my business.
DO NOT BE AFRAID to get back on your wagon for your health, for your truth, for your career or for your life goals. DO IT FOR YOURSELF – don’t let yourself down. Late or not, show up for you!