Feliz Dia Internacional de La Mujer/Happy International Women’s Day

#52EssaysNextWave 7/52

For all women who came before me who worked it and made it happen and paved the way.

For my mother who taught us, by example, to work it with class. Margaret, most definitely, lives in us.

For my aunts, who have always worked it for so many of us as bonus mothers, for my cousins, who teach us about life in ways that mothers didn’t LOL!

For my godmothers who are the best mentors ever and whom I try to emulate as I mentor, take care of, and enjoy my godchildren nieces and nephews.

For my radio fam goddaughters who are trying to make their way in life and I hope that I never lead you wrong when you ask for advice.  And for my wild, fun, and creative chicas of my radio fam, only WE know and understand the crazyass lives we live every day for “la radio”.

For Gina, Mandy, and Tisa, my goddaughters, I want to do better by you and share in your lives. Goals.

For my Comadre and BFFs, for keeping it real with me and loving me at the same time.

For those of you who visit this page and read my blog regularly, bet you didn’t know how much you inspire me!

For my sisters-in-law, past and present, we are family always.

For the “Mamita Club” – my niece goddaughters, AliyahAngelAntoniaAmyAdrianaDianaLuciaNicoleOliviaSeciliaYasminYesenia, the loves and beauties of my life who will change the world and I pray that you always know your worth and that NinaC is here forever for you.

And of course, to my sisters – the ones who have my back 24/7 and who are the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

I’m blessed to be surrounded by so many great women!  Let’s keep working it always, lifting each other up and supporting each other’s activities, families, lives, and careers.  FELIZ DIA INTERNACIONAL DE LA MUJER… HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY


A New Day. A New Opportunity to “Teiquirsi”

#52EssaysNextWave  4/52

A new day is here.

I have always been a notorious night person and rarely see anything good about the morning.  I’m usually incoherent and have nothing to say to anyone until the afternoon sun is high above me.  So for me to even be UP is an accomplishment.

Lately, I’ve been up so early that I’ve been able to see the sunrise most days.  In those few minutes as I watch the first sun come up, it is then that I feel the most hopeful, wearing my positive face and, dare I say it, smiling at that moment.

It’s not easy to get up early but I’m starting to feel more productive in most aspects.   I get up and try to pick up the clutter from throughout the house, make myself some breakfast, and, if I need to travel, I’ve made a very conscious effort to take a train versus driving.  Love it! Especially when the train goes by the thousands of cars bumper-to-bumper on the roadways happy not be all up in that mess.  More than anything, I want to travel smarter, not harder.   Once on the train, listening to music, writing, going thru work assignments, catching up on the morning news, and sleeping are the order of the morning, depending on the day.   More than that, my mind is freer to think about what’s going to happen during the day.  By the time I arrive, I’m usually much more alert for meetings and I get thru my “to do” list that much faster.

My glorious view from the train

I love that “new day” feeling and have decided to challenge myself to keep this vibe going throughout the day.  I haven’t yet mastered it but I like that this goal is moving to front and center in my mind.  Here are a couple of tips I’ve found work for me in the mornings:

Take It Slow In The Mornings:  I find that when I ease into my day versus all of the drama and rushing around, that I am able to maintain that “new day” feeling for a little longer.  I’m calm, open-minded, and ready to work it.  Henrik Edberg gives insight on “How To Stay Positive:  11 Smart Habits” (The Positivity Blog.  https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-stay-positive/):  “So be careful about how you spend your mornings. If you get going at full speed, lost in future troubles in your mind then the stress, perceived loss of power of over your life and negative thoughts will ramp up quickly.”

Stay present and mindful as you move through your day:  “When you spend your time in the present moment then it becomes so much easier to access positive emotions and to stay practical about what you can actually do about something in your life.  When you get lost in the past or future, your worries become very big very quickly. And failures and mistakes from the past being replayed over and over in your mind drag you down into pessimism.  By moving slowly through your morning and hopefully through much of the rest of your day it becomes easier to stay in the moment you are in.” (The Positivity Blog.  https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-stay-positive/)

Sounds like moving slow in the morning is actually a good thing.  And for someone like me, who runs hard, moves fast, worries, and says una que otra pendejada at the wrong time, moving slow is just what the doctor ordered, and to do what Mama a-l-w-a-y-s told me, “sloooow down“.


Buenos Dias from the Ranch

And NOW Inner Chillona Shows Up? Getting Your Cry On


#52EssaysNextWave  3/52

Sitting here on a full train on my way home.   Not only are people sitting all around me, they’re standing as well getting ready to get off at their stop.  Everyone around me is pretty much doing what I am:  headphones on, either on social media, listening to music or watching video or You Tube, anything to de-stress.   I can sit here and practically stare everyone in their faces and they are all lost in their own world, their own thoughts.

So why am I sitting here tonight fighting all types of emotion:  laughter, tears, sadness, anger, melancholy?  A song has just come onto my shuffle which hits me big time.   The person singing those lyrics inside of my head, my headphones, without knowing it, is singing my life, is singing exactly what I would say to this person were he in front of my face.  From the back of my mind, the back shelf, the back of the room, with her crybaby self, Inner Chillona has arrived.

NOW she shows up?  I am sitting here, not knowing where to hide my face, my eyes, the tears welling up in my eyes, it’s getting too dark for sunglasses, my Kleenex is in my bag under my chair, chiiiiingado!   Can these people see and/or sense my life flashing before my eyes?  It almost feels like those dreams where you’re walking around naked, trying to hide, looking for anything to cover yourself.   Maybe the folks sitting and standing all around me can see me visibly react as each word stuns me into silence…with the truth.

Moco rag aka used kleenex

The song is in Spanish and me, well, being a translator 😊, offer my rough translation of a couple of verses of the song, ‘MEJOR QUE A TI ME VA”  — hope it doesn’t get lost in the translation.

…What did you THINK … would happen?

…That I’d be thrown down, crying in some corner on the ground?

…That I’d live as if my life has ended?

…Not the case…

…I survived…

…I confess, starting over wasn’t easy …

…Lots of people say it’s karma…

…I swear I never wished you harm…

…But this is what you get …

…I watch as you pay for it all…

…Things are better for me than they are for you…


I sit here wishing that I could have had my chance to say this once or twice RIGHT when I wanted to. To have my emotions in check enough to be elegant and say “I’m out”, instead of screaming out “f%$* you!” at the top of my lungs as I drove off beyond angry and disgusted in the rain.    Isn’t it how we all want things to end?   Closed, clean, tidy in a box.  How I wish, brincos diera.

Then I realize that tonight’s music shuffle is probably not a coincidence either.  Maybe hearing these songs after so much time after drama gives you the power to be able to say what you need to say, even if the person is not in front of you, maybe years later, better late than never, when you’re ready to accept things as they were, as they are.  When you are safe enough to let these emotions out FINALLY.   How many times did I hold in rage, tears, coraje, emotions just to keep the peace, so that I wouldn’t have to deal with all too-familiar dramatics and consequences?

Your Inner Chillona may choose the most awkward places for you to react in tears, but, in my case, it always feels like it’s the right time, that I need to get these emotions out.  We need these types of songs to get our cry on sometimes, and as my fam friend Jorge says, “to cry like a lil bitch”, to remind us how far we’ve come, to remind us what’s left in our journey from ‘chillona‘ to ‘chingona‘ AKA getting our head straight(er).

If all I must do now in order to get my power back is to reach into my bag for Kleenex to wipe my tears and mocos, then I must not be as jodida as I was way back when LOL.   I just wish that Inner Chillona and all of her emotional moments would hit when I was in the safety of my Jeep or in the bathroom where no one could see me in all my tearful glory.

So when the NEXT song on the shuffle comes on, I have to smile:  it’s a song about nothing being a coincidence, everything happens for a reason, love, success, people in (or out) of your life…all very positive and moving forward.

Standing side to side with your Inner Chillona, in your own truth is powerful (and healthy) whether you set it to music or not.



My Inner Chillona song for the evening is featured below, complete with lyrics.

My Trip of Normal: Going from One Comfort Zone to Another

#52EssaysNextWave  2/52

$29 for a one-way ticket? Unbelievable.

Should I take advantage of this? Where should I go? When should I go?

Back in the day, it wouldn’t have even been a thought. I would have just picked a place and went. That I even had to THINK about it, made me think. When did I stop being spontaneous? When did I lose my sense of fun?  My sense of aventada-ness? When did I start feeling square and un-cool? and dare I say it, as my comadre says, become all old and churrida?

Life happens. In these past few years, so much had happened in my life that it took all my energy to keep afloat, that was all that I could do, the day-to-day, survival, only the necessary.

I decided to travel to one of my hometowns: Denver. It had been a long time since I’d been back and this time, I knew that, if I went, that all I wanted to do were normal things like drive around and reconnect with my ‘fam-friends’, friends who became familia. This trip had to be postponed twice because I was sick with flu/bronchitis. So, when I finally started preparing for my trip, only a couple of days before I was set to leave, I was nervous and excited.

I was excited to see snow and be in the freezing cold air – I was nervous as I had been so sick a few weeks earlier and doctors forbade contact with cold weather. I was excited to rent a car and drive around to see everyone instead of being driven around. I was nervous – how would I get around; would I get lost? I was excited to see friends. I was nervous thinking that I wouldn’t have time to see anyone, what would they think of me? Would I be able to hold a conversation? Would I be a good guest? I was excited to travel alone, as I had done many times before. I was nervous, what if something happened to me? Should I make a will? Will Dad be ok? What about my work projects? Would things get done?

The minute I got off the plane in Denver. I was happily surprised to know that it all felt like I had just been there yesterday, I laughed as I walked to the train to take me to Baggage Claim, como si nada. As I waited outside for my shuttle, I was loving life, gone was the doubt, the sense of aventada-ness BACK front and center. I felt energized, ready for fun, cool, and proud that I made it safe and sound.

Snow? Cual snow? I was outside in fresh air that was warmer than California and carrying my coat, as they say, ‘de adorno’, for decoration only, as there was no need for it. Everyone was saying that the first snowstorm in weeks was on the way…

As I took the wheel that first day, I was exhilarated. It was like I knew where I was, but I didn’t know where I was. So much had changed yet so much was the same. As I started visiting that first day, I was thanking God for GPS which got me door-to-door – just like it does for me every day. All my fam friends live in the many suburbs of Denver, which to my delight, I was still able to navigate with ease. The snow started late that night and, when I left for “home”, it was coming down hard.

Now I was nervous. Snow and the freeways, SOLOS. Freeways are rarely empty in California. Colorado freeways are lonelier and don’t have as many lights on the roads in California. Even though I knew where I was going, I still had the GPS on. Snow hitting my windshield, me using the wiper fluid to break up the snow and hoping it wouldn’t freeze over.

Nerves turned to joy once I neared my hotel. Snow, snow and mas snow at the hotel and no parking LOL. I couldn’t open the windows to smell the snow air because it would have been all in the car. However, once I felt the crunch of the snow on my feet, that first rush of freezing air that makes you shiver out loud, this was one happy girl and I finally felt as I were home.

As you can imagine, the morning was beautiful. It was snowing and, as I went out to put gasoline in the car, I noticed two things: I forgot my gloves and how in the heck was I going to get the snow off the windows? Driving felt as I did the very first time I drove in snow…I drove slowly and in the tire tracks made by the car in front of me. That is, until ‘costumbre’ kicked in and I was back to driving as I always do, minus the ‘ilegalidades’ – crazy u-turns, taking pictures as I drove, talking on the phone, etc.

Best thing about my trip of normal: Feeling as excited, nervous, scared, as when I found the huevos to make the decision to move from everything that I had ever known, to a totally different world, where I knew no one, where I could make a totally new start in life. Opening my mind to all things new. No boundaries.

Also, it was great to “live on my own” again for a few days, to walk around in bra and chones or without bra and chones LOL. I didn’t realize how much I missed living in my own place, coming and going como me diera la gana. I was able to think about so many things that needed attention in my life and make plans accordingly without work or personal distractions, without people in my face, and blessed to look at life out of a new window.

Changing it the eff up was what I desperately needed, and I didn’t realize it until I stepped out of my comfort zone into another comfort zone.  That sense of A-V-E-N-T-A-D-A-N-E-S-S breaking through the mundane, out of my own way, the haters, the nay-sayers, the ‘no’s’, allowing me to do things another way, not the way ‘it’s always been done’ .  So much fun.

Sometimes you gotta go there to find yourself again.

And again, and again.


Where To From Here? Y Ahora Que? #52EssaysNextWave

#52EssaysNextWave   1/52

New Year. New Challenges. New Resolutions.

I’ve gone back and forth on this challenge.  Should I sign up?  Should I take a break?  Que hago?  What do I have to say that I didn’t already say in #52essays2017?

Everytime I think about starting up again, I realize that I don’t want to do the same ole, same ole.  I want my 2018 to be different and I want to keep challenging myself in my writing, in my personal growth, in my professional goals.

Let’s put it this way.  I want to live 2018 like I did the last month of 2017, a la brava, without a net, working it, not knowing what was going to happen next.  I want to take that confidence that I gained, those huevos that I somehow found, and live my life with a little bit of “chorros”, nerves, or excitement of not really knowing what is going to happen next, where I’m sweating it out, saying to myself, “can I do this?  can I make this happen? HOW will I make this happen?”

As I move toward living my life with more “aventada-ness” than ever,  I am jumping on a plane tomorrow night to one of my “hometowns”, do I have a plan?  Not really, just want to visit my FamFriends, as many as I can in one weekend.  I’m actually nervous about this believe it or not, why?  Because I tend to have everything planned out all of the time and while I have the very basics planned, like a flight and a car, I have no clue what I am going to do for the weekend, I haven’t even packed my bag yet.   I do want to travel light this time, basic clothes, my own pillow and blanket, a book, and my laptop.    And driving?  what if I get lost?  what if my gps/phone doesn’t work? how will I deal with black ice?   Jeez, I’m getting on my own nerves.

Turns out, this trip is key for me starting off 2018 with my “mevalemadre” attitude front and center.  I look forward to this time to THINK, to think about the first chapter of my writing, to think about my events, to think about my place in the familia and how I intend to manage things, to think about how to use my energy to my advantage, not in burning out.  Now that I write this, I almost wish that I wasn’t flying, I wish that I was taking a road trip in my Jeep LOL.  Looking at life from a window I used to see every day will help me to remember how far I’ve come — that feeling of ‘OMG, can I do this?’ when I first moved there, knowing NO one, daring myself to “do it” so that I would never be able to say that I didn’t jump when it was time to make a move for life.

Older and wiser, it’s so easy to look back versus looking forward.  So easy to become complacent, so easy to say “been there, done that”, so easy to stop yourself from doing new things because you “know” it will be a lot of work, hassle, drama, etc.   But for me, complacency is like death.  So I push myself.   I always try to learn how to do something better, or to work it more confidently in my business, to become more efficient/effective, to find balance in my life.   I hope that I never lose that sense of ‘aventada-ness’ and, now that I’ve put my fears in writing and in the light of day, I’m now excited about 2018 and am good with not knowing what comes next, not knowing what I’ll write next.

For now.



#52essays2017 52/52

Yay! I made it thru the #52essays2017 Challenge  — writing one essay per week. For the most part, I kept up really well but you know how life is, it really gets in your way some times.  I gained more confidence as a writer and always look forward to the time when inspiration hits.  The best part about this challenge was that I finally see the value of FINISHING WHAT YOU START. I was able to do this time and time again throughout 2017 and it is one great feeling to commit to a project and finish it!

I’m one day away from the big day: putting on my first New Year’s Eve Gala. It’s been all about flying without a net. Scary. Yet invigorating.  As I sit here reviewing everything, I see that I’ve done pretty good in getting the major stuff paid for before the event starts.   Yes, I’m still in “light the candle” mode because I’d love to break even with the event, maybe make a lil extra.   We had a couple of WTF freak-out moments earlier today and there are a few things that I cannot have because we cannot afford them – yet.  All that’s left for me to do is to find my peace and visualize everyone coming in and having a spectacular evening.   Last year at this time, I couldn’t even THINK about doing something like this, I was completely down and out.  2017 taught me that things can and do change for the better … if you’re willing to clear your decks of negativity, pendejadas, and close-mindedness.

I still have a way to go health-wize but I did a number of fitness challenges one after the other and saw my health improve, my lonja go down a little, my clothes get baggy, and my attitude began to change and my confidence started to come back.

In events land, you have to be confident and move forward even when others say that “we’ve always done it this or that way”, “we can’t do that” or “how are you gonna make that happen?”   I’m living proof that having your sense of “aventada-ness” and a “mevalemadre attitude” front and center when you need them, that GodJesusVirgenOfG can help you go farther than you could ever imagine.  I needed good things to happen in 2017 and they finally did.

For part of 2017, I worked with special needs kids and lil pre-kinder bebitos and had the time of my life.  I left happy and TIRED every day.    I now know that God puts you where you need to be and, let me tell you, I gained more respect for teachers and parents.  There is a reason why I have no children of my own but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be a NinaCarmen, AuntyCarmen, a mentor, or a friend. All they want is a little bit of your time and attention.

In no particular order, here is what I’d like to happen in 2018:

What I’m happiest about:  TorresBabies, Torres5, my life with Dad Mike Torres, my writing, my events, our monthly prayer nights.

What I need to work on:  Making time with friends, working out, owning my power, learning to say ‘no’, not going OFF, making peace with the past

What I’m hopeful for:  A better world, Immigration Reform, patience, justice, successful events, change in Washington

Sad that we lost:  family friends Bernardo Santillan, Neftali Orosco

Personal Goals I’d like to accomplish:  Pass State Exam, Bring my Personal debt down, help keep our family together.


Have a safe and Happy New Year!  More to come in 2018…




The Nameless Lady

#52essays2017  50/52

My brother is so much like Mama.  He regularly performs random acts of kindness, buying food for hungry folks, sitting and talking with the homeless, always, always thinking of others.   I always say that I’m going to try to be like that and, this past weekend, I feel as if I came close.

I was out delivering Mama’s Treat Bags.  We make them every holiday to give out to her doctor’s office and her friends at DaVita Dialysis, she did this in life and wanted us to carry on the tradition.

On this particular morning, I was visiting the dialysis folks and handed one of the bags to a woman whom I’d never seen before.  I was struck by the way she grabbed for my hand to thank me – just like Mama used to grab my hand.   I didn’t even ask her name.   She told me that she had been in dialysis for a few weeks now and, as she grabbed my hand, she asks me, “was your Mom scared when she would come here at first?”

I started to tell this lady how Mama made the deal with us when it was time for her to do dialysis:  that “if I have to go through this, so do all of you“, and for the first few months, one of us stayed right there with her the entire time she went through her treatment.   I told her that Mama was very afraid at first and, while she never totally liked her time at dialysis, she was able to somewhat embrace her situation…until she decided that enough was enough.

The woman seemed to totally relate to what I was saying and she started crying quietly.   I held her hand for a few minutes more and had the feeling that Mama was present there, helping to comfort this woman.   I realized that, with every time I take out Mama’s treat bags, that I learn more about her journey, how, in many ways, she did this treatment for us more than for herself, how strong-willed she was, how else to explain the motivation it took for her to get up every day and soldier on, that my mother had so much faith, faith that it was all part of His plan.   Also, I gain more admiration for my mother:  as bad as she was feeling some days, she always wanted to make folks feel better, to not feel so alone in the world.

This nameless lady put me and my ego in check QUICK.  She’s on a life-changing journey, and not an easy one.  I felt happy that I made her feel better for those few minutes and she was able to not feel so afraid and alone.  Who knows what her life is like?  Who is there to make sure she eats before (or after) treatments?  Does she drive to the treatments?  Is her family supporting her?  I have no clue.  All I know is that I could sense that this woman was strong, strong enough to admit that she was afraid yet still there trying to get better.

I hope that I can see her next time I’m there.  I’ll have to ask her what her name is.

Maybe I’ll show her this story.



Inner Chingona’s Heartbeat …”La Corazonada”



#52essays2017  49/52


For better or for worse, I’ve always had a very strong sixth sense.   My family noticed it before I did.  When I was really young,  I would go somewhere and if it didn’t feel safe or I felt scared, I would just cry.   As I got older, I would do one of two things:  I would feel the negative or scary vibe and say “no” and I wouldn’t go there or, more often than not, I’d ignore my sixth sense AKA Inner Chingona, thinking that it was nonsense, that I had no reason to feel fear or trepidation of people and situations.   9 times out of 10, I walked straight into a wall por SonsaTontaPendeja, what I got for not listening to the alarms going off in me.


As I didn’t grow up speaking Spanish at home, I had no concept of “la corazonada“.  A “corazonada” is a hunch, presentiment, foreboding, courage, an impulse of the heart to encounter dangers.  Imagine my relief when I heard a co-worker say, “ay, tuve una corazonada“, I knew that I wasn’t crazy, that I wasn’t the only one whose body felt what was going to happen before my mind could wrap its arms around it.  My family swears that I’m “corazonada-prone” because I was born prematurely and lived the first 3 months of my life with little/no physical contact, so I was forced to develop my other survival skills.


I can go into an event, any event, and usually know whether it will be successful or not.  The longest days have been the ones where I’ve known the event was a bomb yet had to stay there the entire time “just in case” things changed.  Like the time, we gave away tons of free tickets to a water park for Cinco de Mayo, and it R A I N E D or the time that I put on a beautiful event, did everything right, and the crowd did not show up.  Where do you hide?  You’ve got to put the brave face on and keep moving … and praying the clock goes faster!


There were a few times when I just knew that it was destined to be a bad night with a certain gentleman.   Every time that I would stay thinking that things would get better, I was always wrong and ended up with a migraine or worse, one time I threw up in a car while I was driving from the stress of a bad situation.   Each time, I would be kicking myself for walking right into these situations.  I’ve since learned that you can only see what you want to see, where you become more “educated” in life and see that there is more to the universe than the four walls you continue to bang your head against.   Once I’ve seen the proverbial light, it is almost impossible for me to take any steps back.  It’s like my “corazonada” practically pounds out of my chest to ensure that I don’t take a certain road, walk back into a situation or deal with certain individuals.


It’s all about embracing “la corazonada“.  It’s better than any thump on the head, slap in the face, flashing red light, danger alarm.  The trick is be still and listen, listen to your mind when it says, “I’m scared“, or “this doesn’t feel right“, listen to your body when you get that stomach ache, those “chorros“, that headache, those chills, and not just listen…move out of that place, away from that person, out of your own way.


The thing is, that, if you don’t learn how to listen for the negative things and deal with them, HOW will you ever be able to listen to your mind and body for the GOOD things when they happen…things like successful events, fun times, positive people, and good “corazonadas“?


It’s your choice.














Aqui Hay Gato Encerrado…hmmmmm!

#52essays2017  48/52

Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I am not an animal person.  Mucho menos, cats.  I’ve always been afraid of cats.   And now I actually help my nephew take care of his cats, every day, I shake my head in disbelief and swear that I’m going to call the pet adoption folks on them some days.

Lately, I’ve been saying the following dicho “hay gato encerrado”, a Spanish saying that literally means, “there’s a cat locked up” but figuratively it means “there’s something fishy”  “hmmm…that’s suspicious” or “I smell a rat”.    There are a couple of situations troubling me lately and, some days, I’m thinking way too much about how to handle them, do I change them, do I not, do I turn the other way, do I walk away? do I stick it out? what do I do? what? how?

So with all this stuff on my mind, I check into my hotel room, ready to get a good night’s sleep, as I had a very early meeting the following day.    I felt like a little kid, when they do that little laugh of happiness when they get into their pj’s.  I love pajamas!  I turned the TV on, no signal, it didn’t work.   Oh well, I started watching Netflix on my tablet and soon I was fast asleep.

A few hours later, I am dreaming and am hearing this weird sound, a sound so loud it wakes me up.  As I had fallen asleep with the light on, I look up and what do I see?  A big cat on the other side of the room and it’s meowing loud!  And. no. I. am. not. dreaming.  Where in the hell was this cat?  And how did I not see it?  And WHO would leave a cat in a room?  And what was up with the housekeeping people? I am vacillating between fear and asco and the cat runs under the bed, where he’d probably been the entire time…uuuuugh.

I immediately called the front desk and demanded that someone come for this cat and to get me into another room and who cares if it was 3am?

So weird that my mind had been thinking all week, “aqui hay gato encerrado” and then there REALLY was a trapped cat un gato encerrado.  I still shiver and get asco when I think about that night and thank you GodJesusVirgenOfG that the cat wasn’t on top of me or on the bed or anything!  Also I laugh when I think that maybe the cat started freaking out if/when he heard me snoring LOL.

In either case, it was like my thoughts actually came to life, and came to life in a scary way with that big and loud cat.   Let’s hope that these suspicious, rat-smelling situations settle down and get taken out of my way, just like hotel security took away that “gato encerrado“.

Ya Mero! Almost to the Finish Line #52essays2017


#52essays2017  46/52

When I asked to be part of the #52essays2017, I thought, “oh it’s gonna be easy as I love to write”, and here I sit with 7 essays to go and, if I look at the calendar, I’m about 3 weeks behind, as we are to submit our entries on Sundays/Mondays of each week.  Some weeks, I’d have blog entries stockpiled because I’d be so inspired, others I’d be trying to find my voice, trying to find something legit to talk about, and then there are times like these, where I’m slammed with projects and trying to find the time to write.

This writing challenge has mirrored my life in a lot of ways. I’ve got goals that I made for myself at the beginning of 2017, some completed, others not. I’ve got a ton of projects for which it is “crunch time”. Lots of things that “need” to get done by December 31st.

I’ve never been a fan of December 31st. I tend to focus on what did not happen, what did not get done, what I was unable to do.  It takes me awhile to get into January 1st too as the upcoming 52 weeks always seem to overwhelm me, so new, so big, what do I hope to accomplish?

This year feels different.   Yes, I’ve got 7 more blog entries to do by December 31st.  Yes, I’ve got a busy month of events that end on December 31st.  Yes, the pressure is on big time to get stuff done.   The difference is that getting it all done somehow feels possible.  Possible because, once I started writing #52essays2017,  I was able to keep better track of my goals and the writing forced me to revisit them throughout the year.   I may have a lot of task-related goals that need to get done but, more important, I was able to work on life goals, things like putting family first, getting some of my demons out of my system, trying to work smarter, not harder.  And looove that I’m sitting in clothes that fit much better and in some cases, are too big.   Before I think I’m all that, my health goal, especially, will remain a priority for me.

I’ve taken my writing much more seriously this year,  I’ve started to own it that I’m a writer.  I’m more confident in my writing and can take it better when I get constructive criticism LOL.  I have my habits:  music opens up the creative side of my mind so 9 times out of 10, I’m listening to music – at present The Beatles blast through my headphones.  I work very well in warm places with good light, a roomy table, and the smell of cafecito so I can often be found at a Starbucks and especially love the ones where they know my name and know what I’m going to order.  I’m still trying to find the best way to write down/record/type out an idea so that I don’t forget it, I still haven’t figured it out!  I am learning how to find that balance of putting it all out there no filter versus keeping it a lil discreet so that I can protect the names of the innocent (or guilty), and to keep some things protected/close to my heart.  And then there are moments like these, when I get inspired when I should be sleeping and I “have” to write.   I’m finding my writing style, “Slice of Life”, it doesn’t work for everyone but it works for me…and I have found that so many folks relate to and have a good laugh -or cry- on some of the things I write about.

I’m very happy that I have been able to be part of #52essays2017 and will celebrate the day that I finish the challenge!  I’ve grown as a writer and as a person…looking forward to more of the same in the upcoming year.

One down, 6 more to go in 2017.  It’s all about accomplishing my goal of #52essays2017.