Took one look at this lonja and realized that I was way off of my wagon. Last week was my birthday week so I decided that I would have “just a little bit of soda” and “just a little bit of ice cream” – not one day, but almost the entire week.
The combination of crazy heat and my birthday week were conspiring against me LOL. While I have been doing great, my daily exercise has been inconsistent. Add to this, people are starting to notice that some weight is coming off…no reason for me to get all volada and cease almost all activity, but get all volada and cease I did.
It’s so easy to self-sabotage your efforts by doing what you should not be doing: not taking care of yourself health wise. I was so angry last night when I ordered that soda, I drank it but without much joy. I was also disappointed in myself for trying to open doors that must remain closed in my life: people, situations, unhealthy food, talking myself out of working out.
It’s like I got all volada with things running smoothly and then there I go, dandome en la madre a cada paso, shooting myself in the foot. Like an alcoholic thinking he can handle one drink no problem, like a drug addict thinking that he can handle that extra hit, some things are better left alone. It’s like I forgot that I’m on a journey, not at my destination.
In order for me to get back on my proverbial wagon, I need to remember that I decided to make many changes in my life for the better. Soooo much good is right around the corner and I have to walk through this insane discomfort of actually getting what I want finally. It’s easier to take myself back to that place where nothing was going right, where I was unhappy, unhealthy, living in fear and misery. It was my “comfort zone” for such a long time. Part of welcoming positive situations, projects, and people into my life involve me actually taking care of myself, instead of giving others my time, energy, money and my nervous system.
Health Challenge officially starts on August 1st. Just enough time for me to get myself back in gear.
After I eat the last lil bit of chocolate ice cream in the freezer…
>>A note about my #52essays2017 challenge of writing one essay per week this year. I am at Week 30 and very proud that I have been able to keep up with the writing. In fact, I’ve written more in this year than I have in my entire life. It has been this particular writing challenge that showed me that I was indeed able to commit to something, anything. The confidence gained by keeping this writing commitment has started the ball rolling in fixing other areas of my life. For this I’m grateful to Vanessa for accepting my into the #52essays2017 challenge and I’m grateful to GodJesusVirgenOfG for putting the right people, situations, and projects on my path. I’m learning how to take care of myself finally. Let’s see what life looks like at Week 52.