Where To From Here? Y Ahora Que? #52EssaysNextWave

#52EssaysNextWave   1/52

New Year. New Challenges. New Resolutions.

I’ve gone back and forth on this challenge.  Should I sign up?  Should I take a break?  Que hago?  What do I have to say that I didn’t already say in #52essays2017?

Everytime I think about starting up again, I realize that I don’t want to do the same ole, same ole.  I want my 2018 to be different and I want to keep challenging myself in my writing, in my personal growth, in my professional goals.

Let’s put it this way.  I want to live 2018 like I did the last month of 2017, a la brava, without a net, working it, not knowing what was going to happen next.  I want to take that confidence that I gained, those huevos that I somehow found, and live my life with a little bit of “chorros”, nerves, or excitement of not really knowing what is going to happen next, where I’m sweating it out, saying to myself, “can I do this?  can I make this happen? HOW will I make this happen?”

As I move toward living my life with more “aventada-ness” than ever,  I am jumping on a plane tomorrow night to one of my “hometowns”, do I have a plan?  Not really, just want to visit my FamFriends, as many as I can in one weekend.  I’m actually nervous about this believe it or not, why?  Because I tend to have everything planned out all of the time and while I have the very basics planned, like a flight and a car, I have no clue what I am going to do for the weekend, I haven’t even packed my bag yet.   I do want to travel light this time, basic clothes, my own pillow and blanket, a book, and my laptop.    And driving?  what if I get lost?  what if my gps/phone doesn’t work? how will I deal with black ice?   Jeez, I’m getting on my own nerves.

Turns out, this trip is key for me starting off 2018 with my “mevalemadre” attitude front and center.  I look forward to this time to THINK, to think about the first chapter of my writing, to think about my events, to think about my place in the familia and how I intend to manage things, to think about how to use my energy to my advantage, not in burning out.  Now that I write this, I almost wish that I wasn’t flying, I wish that I was taking a road trip in my Jeep LOL.  Looking at life from a window I used to see every day will help me to remember how far I’ve come — that feeling of ‘OMG, can I do this?’ when I first moved there, knowing NO one, daring myself to “do it” so that I would never be able to say that I didn’t jump when it was time to make a move for life.

Older and wiser, it’s so easy to look back versus looking forward.  So easy to become complacent, so easy to say “been there, done that”, so easy to stop yourself from doing new things because you “know” it will be a lot of work, hassle, drama, etc.   But for me, complacency is like death.  So I push myself.   I always try to learn how to do something better, or to work it more confidently in my business, to become more efficient/effective, to find balance in my life.   I hope that I never lose that sense of ‘aventada-ness’ and, now that I’ve put my fears in writing and in the light of day, I’m now excited about 2018 and am good with not knowing what comes next, not knowing what I’ll write next.

For now.

 

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Ya Mero! Almost to the Finish Line #52essays2017

 

#52essays2017  46/52

When I asked to be part of the #52essays2017, I thought, “oh it’s gonna be easy as I love to write”, and here I sit with 7 essays to go and, if I look at the calendar, I’m about 3 weeks behind, as we are to submit our entries on Sundays/Mondays of each week.  Some weeks, I’d have blog entries stockpiled because I’d be so inspired, others I’d be trying to find my voice, trying to find something legit to talk about, and then there are times like these, where I’m slammed with projects and trying to find the time to write.

This writing challenge has mirrored my life in a lot of ways. I’ve got goals that I made for myself at the beginning of 2017, some completed, others not. I’ve got a ton of projects for which it is “crunch time”. Lots of things that “need” to get done by December 31st.

I’ve never been a fan of December 31st. I tend to focus on what did not happen, what did not get done, what I was unable to do.  It takes me awhile to get into January 1st too as the upcoming 52 weeks always seem to overwhelm me, so new, so big, what do I hope to accomplish?

This year feels different.   Yes, I’ve got 7 more blog entries to do by December 31st.  Yes, I’ve got a busy month of events that end on December 31st.  Yes, the pressure is on big time to get stuff done.   The difference is that getting it all done somehow feels possible.  Possible because, once I started writing #52essays2017,  I was able to keep better track of my goals and the writing forced me to revisit them throughout the year.   I may have a lot of task-related goals that need to get done but, more important, I was able to work on life goals, things like putting family first, getting some of my demons out of my system, trying to work smarter, not harder.  And looove that I’m sitting in clothes that fit much better and in some cases, are too big.   Before I think I’m all that, my health goal, especially, will remain a priority for me.

I’ve taken my writing much more seriously this year,  I’ve started to own it that I’m a writer.  I’m more confident in my writing and can take it better when I get constructive criticism LOL.  I have my habits:  music opens up the creative side of my mind so 9 times out of 10, I’m listening to music – at present The Beatles blast through my headphones.  I work very well in warm places with good light, a roomy table, and the smell of cafecito so I can often be found at a Starbucks and especially love the ones where they know my name and know what I’m going to order.  I’m still trying to find the best way to write down/record/type out an idea so that I don’t forget it, I still haven’t figured it out!  I am learning how to find that balance of putting it all out there no filter versus keeping it a lil discreet so that I can protect the names of the innocent (or guilty), and to keep some things protected/close to my heart.  And then there are moments like these, when I get inspired when I should be sleeping and I “have” to write.   I’m finding my writing style, “Slice of Life”, it doesn’t work for everyone but it works for me…and I have found that so many folks relate to and have a good laugh -or cry- on some of the things I write about.

I’m very happy that I have been able to be part of #52essays2017 and will celebrate the day that I finish the challenge!  I’ve grown as a writer and as a person…looking forward to more of the same in the upcoming year.

One down, 6 more to go in 2017.  It’s all about accomplishing my goal of #52essays2017.